Archive for marriage

Five, six, pick up chicks

Posted in Fighting, love, martial arts, Relationships, sex, sex and violence, society, Stayin' Alive, World of Emotions with tags , , , , , , , , , , on February 2, 2009 by wizardsmoke

The other day, I found myself on some Pick-Up Artist blogs. I think I got there via some links on Open Your Heart to the Love, a nice blog that links to mine. Pick-up Artistry sells for the same reason anything does: false mystique built on basic insecurities/needs. But social advantage is all built on basic principles: good presentation, clever first impressions and social deceptions, taking advantage of the lulls in social interactions (using one’s will to overpower another), consistency and camaraderie, etc.

The tips Pick-up Artists give are nothing new or special (though their open embrace of sexual manipulation is a little questionable). The same rules apply in all contexts of social presentation, most notably when confronting potential predators or romantic partners. So here are the rules to dating and survival in a nutshell — the tenets of social presentation:

  • Rule #1 — people will determine whether they are physically attracted to one another within the first few seconds of meeting just as two people (or animals) will determine who is the more dangerous predator within seconds (it’s largely intuitive)
  • Rule #2 — present yourself well; don’t immediately reveal your weaknesses or give in to neurotic behavior and don’t rely on others to guide you
  • Rule #3 — do not get emotionally involved in the social situation; maintain a persistent, persevering attitude, but only say half of what you want to say — be “professional”
  • Rule #4 — maintain good posture; back straight, head up, knees/shoulders relaxed — stay somewhat sober
  • Rule #5 — Be a real person: be genuine about your likes and dislikes when necessary, and have healthy (social) hobbies to pass the time in life.

So of course, since many people have monogamous relationships, and people who know how to fight are not all psychopaths looking for rumbles, most of us ignore these factors in our social scenarios except for those times when we’re on the prowl.

But none of this matters anyway, because the most important things in life are finding food and shelter. New Agey magical crap is for rich people with too much time on their hands, and on some level, the same goes for romance, haha! And even if you disagree with me, you gotta admit, the modern notion of free-choice romance and marriages (as opposed to fixed marriages and so forth) is only for people with extra time.

Career Marriage and the Next World

Posted in Buddhism, Christianity, Monasticism, Reality Bites, Relationships, Religion with tags , , , , , , , , on February 12, 2008 by wizardsmoke

I’ve heard that if you start a business, you’re married to it. It’s a focal part of your life as long as you’re running it. And the same can be said of most serious careers. Many people seem to be married to their careers, to the extent that they neglect or put off having children. Portions of their lives suffer for their career, which is sad when the career is just for money.

Generally, people want super powers, or to be enlightened, or whatever else. But they also want sexual adventure, fame, and financial fortune. Since it’s pretty damn hard to achieve access to both groups of things, people have to choose wisely (or not so wisely) between their goals. Society at large seems to venerate sex and money, so most people aspire to achieve those in quantity.

People don’t usually think monks are cool. Or the idea of giving up sex just seems beyond them. The thing is, monks (and hermits, priests, wizards, and so forth) are married to a spiritual career. Too many people get obsessed with sex or money to the neglect of everything around them, and monks have that zest too, except it’s pointed at realizing reality beyond conditions.

But you know…it’s not a matter of being a monk or nun. It’s a matter of being married to a wholesome path in general. Lots of folks are married to a path they can’t even see or don’t know anything about, and yet they continue diligently down it. Too many folks are absolutely blind.

That is, too many of us dull the mind in our daily activities. One of the main reasons monks give up possessions, sex and social pleasures is because those things are in direct opposition to a calm mind. Those things ultimately create a tempest where it becomes impossible to tell whether you want to pursue your desires or not; a situation where the individual falsely identifies his/her desires as part of a self.

When you’re in love, ecstatic or infatuated with something, time eludes you — it slips through your fingers. And so do those things or people you love — they disappear eventually. And sometimes the love for things disappears first.

What kind of path can you be married to that won’t spurn a frivolous love and won’t disappear even after you die?