Born to be wild

Sometimes I think sex is a total scam. This whole element of “physical attraction”. Yeah, there’s something fishy about it. The same with violence too. I don’t know about it. It’s very fishy. Why is it so alluring?

Okay, rhetorical question: I know why “scientifically” — that it’s nature’s drive to self-sustain, impulses to create offspring, survival, etc. And I also recognize that nature makes the finest sense pleasures so strong that every physical existence is forcibly drawn in a gravitational pull to partake of it. That’s why self-replication, self-reflection is incredibly pleasurable. To continue the species, the ego has to be convinced of its own individual importance, which is accomplished by this sexual desire — we descend into total egomania via our lust — sorry, love. Hence it seems the twin manifestation of sex and violence is the tree or river of life itself, and all other experiences and life flourishes are the branches and streams that sprout from it.

But on a physical level, I’d say sex and violence are manifestations of ripping change and the exploding, expanding/contracting movement of the universe. Like, we’re standing in the midst of a mind-boggling explosion, but we’re so small it seems to be happening in slow motion. So sex and violence are these mediums through which the exploding molecules shed their skin.

If size is an issue in perceiving time, do you think bugs perceive everything incredibly slowly? Let’s say a bug lives six weeks — it probably feels like a whole century to them. No surprise, since all windows of time are just little temporary avatar blips in the eternal transmigratory lineage. Size/age/virility is a big factor to perceptions of time. Kids seem to perceive time incredibly slowly, probably because they’re shedding and regenerating cells so insanely fast. Thus everything whizzes by an old person. Yeah, I think one’s perception of time is possibly related to one’s rate of bodily regeneration.

Or is perception of time exclusively a mental construct? We all know time moves according to our perception of it. But this is because when you’re enjoying yourself, time ceases to exist. You are living in the infinite realm of love! And when time passes slowly, it’s because we’re analyzing it and dwelling in those uncomfortable thought-worlds, which are in themselves eternities. Strange how that is, huh? Dwelling on a thought is an eternity in itself, but not concentrating on anything is a direct perception of eternity.

Then there are those clinchers of sex and violence. Absorption in anger, hate, lust, love — they totally warp your perception of time again! That’s what I don’t get about sexual desire. It’s so endless, mind-bending and yet so disappointing. If we took the hinges off of the door to sexual desire, if there were no limitations to its power, it would explode and consume itself endlessly. So I feel like all existence is this dangerous build-up to sexual climax, this insane violence.

I used to wonder, when people in past civilizations — Ancient Rome, Ancient China — were castrated for insolence in court or were made eunichs, what did that do to their outlook on life? Most of us who have sexual urges will cling to them desperately, say how we want to have kids, don’t want to let go of our lustful attachments. But if they just disappeared — if they stopped functioning — how would that make us feel? We’d still have emotions and so forth, but no more sex drive. The average person would be pretty bored, at least in a society that endlessly markets to one’s sex drive. So I wonder if total liberation isn’t totally boring too, haha.

Anyway, nature must really have the hots for itself.

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3 Responses to “Born to be wild”

  1. My understanding of eunuchs in China is that they were castrated so that they wouldn’t have ambitions for their progeny. The argument was that because they didn’t have to focus on the well being of potential descendants, they could focus instead on the well being of the court. Castration supposedly made them less self-interested.

    Of course, this idea often backfired and you had eunuchs who became even more selfish, doing things non-castrated officials would never dream of because of the repercussions to their families and the thought of how they would appear to their descendants.

    I personally see the sex drive as being closely linked to the religious impulse, which probably makes me some kind of closet Tantrist or something. ;)

  2. Yeah, I’d heard similar things about eunichs — that they were even more conniving than typical court officials. Well, I’ve heard it said that people lust for fame and power once they reach middle-age due to a waning sex drive. Maybe sex keeps us mercifully distracted, ahaha!

    >> I personally see the sex drive as being closely linked to the religious impulse, which probably makes me some kind of closet Tantrist or something. ;)

    Right on. I’ve actually always wondered whether eunichs or people who don’t have testicles can do kundalini meditations and things that supposedly channel one’s sexual energy.

    I just wonder how much of the physical bodily alchemical stuff in Hinduism/Buddhism/Daoism is necessary. Surely a stainless mind is achievable without a completely functioning biological foundation?

  3. I often wonder about the body-mind connection myself. It’s hard to say. I definitely think that the most efficient way of training the mind is going through the body, possibly because so many of our bodily functions are done “unconsciously”.

    On the other hand, the Zhuangzi has a whole chapter (Chapter 5, “The Mark of Full Power” or “The Sign of Virtue Complete”, depending on your translation) about spiritually astute people with amputated feet….

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