Steam of Consciousness

It is so crazy that all these impulses firing off from the body 24-7 are just nature’s duality aiming to perpetuate itself. Every kind of love, just another little explosion that comes and goes. And your life: what is that? A bubble that passes without a divine purpose. But that’s not surprising or even that depressing, because the notion of a divine purpose is just another samsaric time-space construction of the human experience. The only divine purpose anyone should be looking for is an escape.

All those science-fiction/surrealist stories and movies that talk about aliens or the government or machines implanting memories and thoughts into people’s minds (basically a real phenomenon at this point), I wonder how different those plot ideas are from our day-to-day emotional attachments anyway? I mean, isn’t the spectrum of emotional change just a temporary flux in cosmic consciousness that we experience under the illusion of a personal identity? As we grow, we experience the growth and maturity of nature’s course and attach ourselves to it, but it’s really just par for the course in time-space.

Sunrise to sunset, life is just a play or a dance where each person gets no divine retribution for their suffering. We’re all responsible for ourselves ultimately and that’s what is so freaking sad, right? It would be easy if we could just put our hearts under lock-and-key and fumble after violent strength; but in a typical universal twist, you can’t hurt others without hurting yourself! So power isn’t a long-term solution.

The illusionary personal quality of emotions and the subsequent attachment to them is the cause for our beliefs in emotional truths and concrete purpose. The idea of a savior, messiah, prophet or whatever is a dramatic emotional yearning. Like emotions, this belief is a natural element that accompanies life as an individual creature. I guess you could call it hope. But I see hope a bit like life — it too must sparkle and fade. Hope mainly exists as a fantastic internal quality rather than as any reinforced experience in reality.

The problem I have with all these religious/cult-like claims of individuals being the one true leader, savior, godhead, prophet — or whatever, is that there is no final endgame result to the cosmic experience. Religious leaders have to peg themselves or their icons as the final truth to get people’s attention, but there is no final truth in the sense that most people think there is. The “final truth” usurps the vanity and tacky glory that humans attach themselves to.

Before one clearly sees beyond the individual body and emotional attachments, there is a fear that kicks in when one gets a brief glimpse of the objective, infinite nature of things. In fact, the identity’s suffering is something of a conundrum because it suffers for it’s identity. To relinquish the ego entirely also means not to exist individually, right? But it’s only painful because you exist individually. An individual is attached to their self, which is in itself a major source of suffering.

So the ego fights for itself desperately, like everything that exists argues for its own perpetuation and existence. Eventually, with practice/insight/maturity, some people learn to bypass or “hack” their egos and see the universe from a more complete picture. This is a different kind of… “escape” than a religious salvation that takes people to heaven (for ever and ever, amen) and without direct experience many people are skeptical of such insights.

But without these insights, if everything were doomed to pale and there were no way out, wouldn’t that mean we’re living in some kind of hell realm? I guess I see why religious folks have tried to paint a pretty picture beyond life. But without direct awareness of a primordial or deathless state, how are we to avoid skepticism of its existence?

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