Tears of Sylph

The two things that make me cry:

(1) Mental illness — I’ve seen several people close to me lose their mind. I also have some relatives who have always been mentally ill. Insanity is the ugliest thing in the world. It isn’t visible to the eye, but it contains a truly hideous presence — a purely ghoul-filled manifestation. Didn’t HP Lovecraft write that the darkest, most frightening thing is madness?

(2) Impermanence — The big kahuna! Every single thing fades. Life is just a fleeting glimpse of the ghost of creation. This is the real thing to absolutely realize. It’s where compassion and all that stuff comes from. The realization of impermanence is like the most pure realization of the dichotomy of sadness and joy.

***

Sure, other things do really bother me — such as: murder, rape, cruelty to animals, environmental destruction, exploitation, ignorance, and love-sickness. But those two things I mentioned, to me they cause the ultimate heartache. Heartache is different from anger or emotional disgust. Heartache is blameless, isolated and without any answer or possible solution. It is deep and, as it reads — aching.

The most surreal thing about people dying is the fact that our experiences with the deceased were never conclusive or epic the way we’ve been led to expect (been programmed) by movies, stories, television, and other propaganda. People expect a pinnacle of poignancy.

In the vein of madness, I also know some people who voluntarily pursue insanity. Truth is they don’t realize that’s what they’re pursuing. To anyone with a serious interest in crazy people and ugly emotional situations, all I can say is — good luck in the next world!

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2 Responses to “Tears of Sylph”

  1. I come from a line of people with mental illnesses of one variety or another, and while I’ve been fortunate enough to avoid the effects of this (touch wood), I’ve definitely seen the darker side of mental illness.

    As for impermanence, it’s good you note that it’s a double-edged sword: it is the source of suffering and sorrow, but also the source of great beauty and compassion. I welcome the heartache that comes from annica. If the heartache from insanity is the supreme ugliness, the heartache from impermanence is supreme beauty.

  2. Hrmm, good point there. I hadn’t considered that, even though it was right in front of my face.

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