Sword of the Warrior

Amazing that even this universe is nothing but a single clumsy brush stroke. And every single action just an exponential manifestation of the universe. This whole cosmos, it’s just a single tear-drop! But knowing that doesn’t satisfy me. That’s boring. I’ve been losing interest with all phenomena at a rapid rate.

A while back I realized I hate drugs and all mind-altering substances. Don’t be confused. I’m not against anything and I certainly don’t think anyone else needs to share my view (it’s funny because wizard smoke seems to be a brand of “legal hydroponic drugs” so I get a lot of hits from people looking to smoke their brains out, hee hee). Despite doing drugs for so long in my teenage years, I have long ceased to enjoy them. The last one to go was alcohol (and maybe caffeine). My friends all talk about how great certain beer or ale or wine is. But on drugs I just feel like I’m watching TV or hanging out with hoodlums — it’s going nowhere and is a waste of time. I practically pass out when people talk about wines and ales.

Now, I’m sort of an idiot about cuisine in general, but when it comes to figuring out fresh ingredients and cooking techniques, I can pay attention. With alcohol, this is never the case. As a result, I have no interest in going to bars or any such things. No problem for me. I think bars are the seediest acceptably mainstream social experiences possible! I should note: if you never drink caffeinated beverages, having a couple of cokes instead of beer is a much more intense mood alteration! Makes you feel so good, ambitious and enthusiastic in a way where your senses are overly sensitive rather than merely dulled. Not advocating, but it’s an interesting alternative…

Too bad I feel uninterested like this about so many things in the world. People peg me as some kind of nihilist, but I live in a deep level of self-indulgent illusion and say it’s more of a “warrior monk” type thing. Ya dig? I figure I could become a complete recluse or monk, but part of me feels like that’s too easy. Not that it’s too easy for everyone but just for me. Of course, people only do what is easiest for them, so I could be totally delusional… Still, part of me feels like following some extreme outlying experience (isolation or perversion) is totally crazy. And not in the good, Wizard Smoke way!

Things appear naturally in life and everything comes and goes so fast. From a bigger perspective, it’s all just a single brush stroke. As they say, “even the saints and patriarchs are but lightning bolts across the sky”. No time to waste!


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