Give or Take

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Nothing really tows the line. What kind of punishment is appropriate for a crime? Any punishment is too strict or too lenient. This is always the predicament. What punishment is appropriate? Sure someone may reap the metaphysical or mental results of what they sow, but society’s laws aim to keep order within society and distribute justice, or deserving punishment.

Of course, things do not come close to one-hundred percent successfully functioning in this way. The flow of the universe is too chaotic or perhaps, too relaxed, for humanity attain the rigidly pure goals of its imagination, at least in any tangible physical reality. Society generally awards lenient punishments to those with desirable resources (usually money) and harsher punishments to those without lucrative gifts. Money tends to usurp the place of talent or wisdom as the apple of society’s short-term eye. Some may speak otherwise, but what good is a talent or wisdom in the short term? When one needs food now or in crisis, potential and artistic integrity are not very relevant. Martial arts however, are always relevant, no matter how advanced our society becomes.

I wonder a lot whether continually learning martial arts isn’t totally crazy, whether it isn’t like some hell-bent black magick quest that destroys a person’s humanity. ‘Coz like, if we’re so afraid of being harmed by the world, isn’t learning to horribly maim others just another way of being manipulated by the world and joining its ranks of perpetrators? I guess I’ll let everyone know how it turns out! *wink*

Ah, but I have no regrets. I’m much better off now than I ever was. I said before, I wanted to learn martial arts because I hate violence. But you probably noticed: unless one is a completely trashy, unsophisticated being who lucked out on a vacant spot in a human womb, or a total nutjob psycho, he/she doesn’t like seeing or experiencing violence. No, like a lot of people, not only did I hate violence, but I used to really fear violence. To the point where it made me depressed and socially anxious.

I started out by getting into Buddhism and meditation and all that stuff and it didn’t help me with that fear. Because I was really trying to walk away from it. Not that those approaches won’t work (and they did to some degree), but it’s more a matter of how your teacher can affect you. Even today, I absolutely hate and fear hurting other people, even when I actually have to do it. But I’ve learned how to let it melt away when it’s necessary. Hurting others, watching others be hurt, or hurt themselves — it’s so humiliating and horrifying. There’s no pleasure or virtue to be found there. I think I hate it all so much it makes me pursue the things I’m deathly afraid of. That’s why I play this game. Or so I tell myself.

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2 Responses to “Give or Take”

  1. Emos don’t fight, even or ESPECIALLY in self-defence.

  2. I find your knowledge of emo behavior suspicious! :p

    Ahaha, but right you are. How could I possibly defend myself while channeling an emo spirit? Technically… wouldn’t an emo spirit just be a ghost?

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