Romeo I is not

Romantic love is so crazy. It perplexes me. There’s this idea that people have gotten in their heads that there’s some other half out there (who we need or yearn for emotionally) that will put an end to our suffering or make us happy. I heard a talk by Ajahn Brahmavamso back in the day where he says that romance goes back to to 14th century troubadours or something of that ilk. I’d like to agree and write it off that way, but what about all the Greek myths and plays about tragedy and love? Love, an emotional attachment filled with sexual longing and hyper-real fantasy is an ancient drive. (And before you get all emotionally twisted, just remember — I’m not saying romantic love is purely a fantasy)

I’ve been known to talk about how having kids removes all the time from one’s schedule. Well, you know what? So does having a job, or a lover, or a really cheesy blog. Tonight my friend mentioned how he read a study indicating that wealthier people often have higher levels of stress or anxiety. He jokingly mentioned we can either be poor or unhappy. And romance didn’t even come into the equation! I wonder if romance even has much to do with happiness? Ack! But the drives are so powerful!

I’ve encountered a fair number of people practicing martial arts or various self-defense ideas (guns/weapons, business rhetoric, law, and so forth) and a large number of them are doing it because they want to protect their families. Fair enough — who doesn’t? It’s just… you have to be careful you don’t become a mobster.

For example, I knew a really good martial arts master — one who I otherwise admire for a variety of reasons including his martial skill — who once mentioned to me over dinner, that if someone ever sold any of his kids drugs, he’d slit the person’s throat. That statement has always disturbed me on an ethical level. Because people are in a constant process of change, and I know from experience that not all people do various things (drugs, religion, martial arts) for the same reasons. It’s not like only one person is at fault when distributing drugs.

Killing is not something I condone, and it’s a pretty pathetic action to take when it can be avoided. It would seem that most murders are done in emotional states, often spurned by romance. So many fights are over romantic or lustful interests. I’d like to think males wouldn’t fight so much if there were no women to impress, but then again look at prisons or private schools (but then again, those people are in shackles…).

Romance is complicated because it is never satiated or satisfied. It is in a constantly changing process. Relationship gurus and so forth talk about how loving relationships mature and grow and change, but they’re the same as all other relationships except sex is involved. Sure sure, that makes all the difference I guess.

If you wanna get all metaphysical about it, physical love is the ultimate distraction. And sexual desire is the main fetter tying one to existence. But cosmic love, that’s a different thing entirely. I ain’t raggin’ on that one, ya heard?

And if you is wondering: I’m not celibate. I’m a chump like everyone else.


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